Will I ever get back with my ex?

Published: 02nd March 2011
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I hear over and over again "will I ever get back with my ex"? and I always have the same answer. It depends on how you go about getting your ex back. Only 25% of couples that break up ever get back together. Not because they don't want to get back together, but rather they go about it wrong.

You can indeed get back together with your ex if you take the steps necessary to do it without pushing your ex further and further away. Not only can you push your ex further away, but also if you do things wrong you will make it virtually impossible to EVER get your ex back. So in this article I will give you 5 steps to take to get your ex back.

#1 Determine What Caused The Break Up

This is the very first thing you must do. Believe it or not many people do not even know why they broke up, and that can have a real big impact on your chances of ever getting back together. Your ex did not break up with you for no reason. Rather you think it was a good reason or not, it was a good enough reason for your ex to break up with you. So don't try to determine if the break up was justifiable or not, just determine what caused it for now.

#2 Determine Exactly What Led To The Cause Of The Break Up

Once you have determined what caused the break up with your ex, go back in your memories and replay all the events that led to the exact moment of the break up with your ex. This is the most important step in your plan to get your ex back. You need to have a crystal clear understanding of what exactly what led to the break up. Your ex is not going to consider getting back together with you if he/she does not see that you understand exactly why they broke up with you.

#3 Get Out and Socialize With Friends, Both Your's and Your Ex's

Your friends are going to be a big asset in your attempt to get back together with your ex, especially if they are close friends of both you and your ex. Close friends are naturally concerned about you and are going to ask you about the break up. This is where many many people blow it. Does this sound familiar?.. A mutual friend ask you what happen between you and your ex, and you say something like, I don't know she's just over reacting, there was not a good reason. Or.. I don't know he's so stupid, He's just being childish. Have you answered like that? guess what, YOU JUST BLEW IT!

I can guarantee that what you say to your friends is going to get back to your ex and it's going to get there in a very negative way. Instead show your friends that you have taken the time to go back and got to the heart of the matter, and you now have a clear understanding of what happened. And without actually saying so, convey that you know what to do now to prevent it from ever happening again. Save the actual words for your ex when your ready to take to them about it. (Your not ready to yet).

This will get back to your ex in a much more positive way, and start your ex to wondering if you really understand the situation.
Allowing them to drop their guard a little bit to the idea of maybe talking to you.

#4 Show That Your Doing Just Fine

Maybe your not doing fine, you can't sleep, you can't concentrate, you can't do much but think about your ex. That's normal, but don't let your ex see this. Some of the big mistakes that are made here is calling, or texting them constantly, driving by their house all the time, spying on them or even stalking them, always asking friends what your ex is up to. These are all mistakes that can hurt your chances of getting back with your ex, and can even ruin any chance you have permanently. I have seen restraining orders issued over this kind of behavior.

Your ex knows that you want to get back together, leave them with that thought, if you are constantly bothering them, you will replace that thought with them thinking how they can get you from bugging them all the time. If your ex see's that you are handling things in a mature manner, is going to make you more approachable when your ex is ready to talk to you.

#5 Work on Being Friends With Your Ex Again

If you are following the steps above your ex is going to be much less likely to avoid being anywhere that he/she knows you will be.
Be pleasant in the company of your ex. Treat them as a friend not an ex lover. Talk with a smile and not a sad pitiful cry in your voice. Talk and joke around like you would with any other friend, you want to make them smile and laugh. If seeing you makes them mad or depressed they are going to avoid seeing you.

Don't rush into the subject of the break up. once you have become friends with your ex again, relax the subject will come up eventually and you will have your opportunity to show your ex that you have a clear understanding of what happened, and you know how to keep it from happening again.

Your ex may not fall right back into your arms right now. But seeing that you have a crystal clear understanding of what went wrong, your ex is going to be much more open to the possibility of getting back together. Take it slow and don't blow it by getting impatient and presureing your ex to get back together with you. Redevelop a strong friendship with your ex, follow the steps above, pick up some more tips in my other articles. You'll get your ex back.

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